Moved

I will no longer be using blogger

Yet I'm now moving to

May visit or follow me at 

http://ahlor1127.tumblr.com/

See you there :) 

曾经

天公不作美 让你很不幸的遇上了我

遇上了个这么性情不定的我

或许我还没准备好 不知道

我讨厌自己的不知道

可是我没办法

我真的不懂我自己要什么

我讨厌这样的自己

所以我逃离得远远的

得到了 却逃离了

我知道这一切都太突然了

可 这就是我

永远不知道真正自己的我

你的挽回 确实让我心动

可是我拒绝了
要恨就恨我的狠心 为了 

让你不再受到任何的伤害
让你不再有任何的牵挂

我只是想要你知道

曾经的一切 都不是假的

我是真心真心地 喜欢过你

I miss

Pretending = Torturing

While rushing the freaking assignments  
A very simple goodnight came
Which made me felt uneasy
"What happen?" 
I wish I can send this message
But I'm just pretended nothing
Replied in a normal mood


Threw away the assignments
I can't even continue doing it
The deadline is just right around the corner, though
Maybe I did something wrong?
Please tell me if I did
I want to talk to you so badly 
I just wish that I can by your side
Yet pretend is such a torturing


Goodnight and sweet dreams
Missing you so badly. 

♥

Say goodbye to single 

Miss you 

:) ♥

Tell Me

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling too deep

but sometimes don't

I don't know what I really want

but I do know what I'm thinking about

You said you like my smiling face

and so do I with yours

but when the hell are you going to tell me

of the little few words. 

Patient kills man

Be a man and tell me

What's on your mind.

虚伪

什么鬼
我只不过是开玩笑
那也会得罪人
哭  你就只会哭
然后我就被当作坏人

你说我有什么资格说
那你自己又做过什么
你之前所说的一切
句句刺痛进我心里
还有你对其他人又做了什么
你所做所说的一切
又刺痛了多少人
我不想多说
你自己最清楚

很想当场指着你的鼻子
你他*的又有什么资格
真的很想全部脱口而出
可是我不想让你精神分裂
我很想在这里说出你是谁
可是我没有因为顾及你的面子

我从不后悔我说过的话
因为我没违背我的良心
不像你总是带着一幅面具
对着外人讲着虚伪的话

不要忘了
你所说过的每一句话
就代表了你什么人格

what are you waiting for

You don't tell me anything
what do you really think about  
I acted like I don't care
but what do you know about me
I feel like I'm being fooled
waiting for nothing
Left without words
which is I hate the most
Damn you, You sucks 

Miss someone

When I saw you 

You have caught my breathe away
I can hardly breathe 


Where have you been
Haven't seen you for whole day
I was like an idiot waiting for you
Just to see you 1 second 
Duhhhhhh
I hate this fucking feeling 




Yet missing you badly. 

What if it does really happen

The rumors and the way you acted
show that you got a crush on me
and hell yeah
so do I.


I like the way you look at me
I like the way you talk with me
I like the way you smile at me


I even imagined the moment of ours
the way you touch me
the way you hug me 
the way you kiss me
how sweet will it be 






I'm just nuts.

Anson ♥

My little angel ♥ 

我不懂

说真的  我有点受不了了
我真的好想放弃
我不懂  我真的不懂
我到底该不该继续
我不想失望我家人
可我怕我承受不了
我只想过我想要的生活
或许我是任性了叛逆了
可我已没有以前的热情
学院的功课已足以让我窒息
更何况钢琴
我知道我是幸福的
我知道 我都知道
可  我真的没办法
承受那负累

老师，
你教导了我8年
真的很谢谢你对我的耐心
骂我是为了我好
我从不怨  我都知道
可是  我真的没有了从前的热情
如果我说我想放弃了
你会怎样？
我不敢想象

妈，

您喜欢钢琴

可我从来没好好地弹好一首完整的歌

对不起  真的很对不起

为了家人为了我  您辛苦了

我知道  我都知道

如果我说我不想继续了

您会怎样？

我不敢想象

天那么蓝  心那么痛  好承重
我只想放下这负累  自由飞
我还要答案  我还要习惯  好困难
路那么长  手那么空  谁在乎
天那么蓝  我只想放下  自由飞

Kings and Queens

Into the night
DESPERATE and BROKEN
The sound of a fight
Father has spoken
Between HEAVEN and HELL

Into your eyes
HOPELESS has TAKEN
We stole our NEW LIFE
Through BLOOD and PAIN
In defense of our dream


We were the KINGS and QUEENS of PROMISE
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God

The age of man is OVER
A darkness comes and all
These lessons that we've learned here
Have only JUST BEGUN


We are the KINGS
We are the QUEENS
In DEFENSE of OUR DREAM

screw up

yesterday rushed to ktm to toa for malaysian studies class right after piano class
but then the train had delayed as usual
finally it came but I cant got in 
FUCK.
so I continued to wait for the next
it still delayed
then I continued to wait
the class starts at 12pm
but I was still waiting for the fucking train at 11.45am
my anger was started to burn
FUC...oh
finally it came okay I got in this time
was one of the sardines in a very hot+sweating train*rawrrr*
it took me an hour to reach toa by train and bus
then I rushed to the class 
before I open the door I heard that everyone inside was shouting so high
I opened the door curiously 
"CLASS HAD CANCELED!!!" "HOORAYY!" "YEAHHHHH!" friends shouting 
"WHAT??? " I shouted
"owhhh U just came! teacher just informed that our class had canceled today~"
I was stoned
"are you serious?" asked calmly 
"YEAHH! hey let's go to yamcha!" " or do u want to harry potter later~?' friends said in a very high mood
my anger was burning vigorously
"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!" shouted angrily
my precious weekend just wasted in the fucking train and bus 
I went all the way just to attend the fucking malaysian studies but then it canceled
then I need to waste an hour more to back to kajang
screw you fucking public transport!
why can't it always reach on time so that won't be more people to gather around and to squeeze in a little tiny hotty sweaty train!
and pissed you off fucking lecturer! 
why don't you inform earlier so that I won't be wasting my time just to attend your fucking canceled class!
FUCK FUCK FUCK


p/s, I know I've been very rude in this post, but I just want to vent so badly. forgive me for the rudeness. CHEERSSS 

Missing You

Oh man I miss friendsssss...so badly
I miss the gossip days
I miss the moments with you all!
I want to meet you all!! 
let's watch transformer together xD
I must meeeeet you alllll I do really misssss :'(


special part to
Ann, 
don't you feel upset
I know is hurt to be hurt by someone
but don't you ever think of any bad moves
NO NO no, it doesn't worth at all dude
even because of that bitch
no way, totally NO.
what you should do now is to look forward
I know is hard but you have to
since you've choose this way
then you have to face it no matter what
I know I can't help you out 
but I will always stand by your side
remember, you're not alone. 

每天都是种练习

好几天了没有你的消息

才发现其实想着你

当爱被紧紧地锁在心底

自由就张开翅膀飞出去

还需要一点幽默的心情

才能面对你失望的离去

快乐的气氛也许能暂时逃避

却又让伤害更彻底

我被恐惧深深的囚禁

我没有力气逃出去

每天都是新的练习

用今天换走过去

用明天换走失去的

College life

Woopsss, spider web again x)
Im kinda busy these few weeks for assignments zzz
Oh ya did I mention here of which college I studying? 

Well, is The One Academy :)
Is not as big as some uni or colleges, though
Just shop lot, but I love the outside wall which is sooo colorful.
I love TOA, because it's my dream art college :D
And finally I've went in! Rawrrrrr ! xD
Well, just ended week 4.
Means that just 9 weeks left to end the 1st semester.
Ohh gosh time does really fliesss.
It seems like just 1 week ago :O
About the courses, almost drawing everyday, YEAH.
Really glad that I don't need to study NUMBERS such as ADD MATH = NIGHTMARE. 
But still, HISTORY OF ART and MALAYSIAN STUDIES are exist.
Owhhh, I tried to love both of you but I just can't resist from hatred F5
Forgive me and I will do my best still :/
Now let me show you what I've done for some of my assignments

I got 7.5/10 for drawing.
Sounds quite high? Tell you what, I got the lowest mark among my friends! 
They all got 8 above, their drawings are really so complicated but damn nice! Claps for them :)
Oh crap, mine are the simplest compare with them :O

These are called Finished Art which is 100% handmade xD
I don't really like to do but when the result came out it surprised me.
The small book with teddy cover one
I got 8/10 which means I got the highest mark among my friends! 
Wahahahaha I'm so proud of it! BIG CLAPS! xD
I'm satisfied enough, not the highest mark in class, though :)
Anyway, I would like to thank you gratefully to my parents.
If not I won't have such a lucky chance to study at TOA without them :D
I really do appreciate and I will do my best no matter what :)
Cheers.

Get the Hell Off

Sick of the word sorry without even a little sincere.

Hate to leave without a simple goodbye.

And these were what I did before.

I hate myself, and you. 

Pissed off. 

面对事实

我到底喜欢钢琴不?

现在对它的感情是[不]

我曾经一度崩溃大哭

好想把它砸烂丢下大海

离我越远越好

可我必须面对事实 

我不能再这么任性下去

如果我现在选择放弃

妈妈一定会很失望

爸爸在天上一定很难过

他们是那么的辛苦栽培养育我

为的就是达成他们的心愿

所以现在我不能踩煞车

我必须踩油前进，管它慢或快

时间将会证实一切

当然，我不会是天下第一

但是我会用尽全力

提升自我，征服钢琴

直达终点

是的，我是该知足了 

因为我所拥有的一切

已证实我是幸福的。

梦。道别

梦真的很神奇

那感觉感情感触

都好真实好真实

你好像忘了什么

却也没什么

只管沉浸在梦里

好好地享受

好好地沉醉

好幸福好快乐

醒过来后

咦

太阳穴道从眼角处

留下紧绷的泪痕

谁的眼泪?

滴答滴答滴答 ---

绞尽脑汁的回想

模糊的场景浮现

啊

原来梦里的一切

真的真的是一场

虚拟华丽却夹杂着

真实朴实的道别

Where should I go?

SPM 2010 of English subject had ruined so many candidates
including me, so badly =/
I still can't make up my mind until now
because of the blockades.
Where should I go now?


MMU? 
I have not reach the requirements and so the only two ways to enroll are
1. take diploma IT for around 2 years with 2.8 GPA above then only can go on the animation course OR
2. take november spm english paper (should be june paper, but I had missed the date of registration =/)
For no1. My sisters were holy disagreed with it. Said is risky for me if I cant get a better result to go on animation then my future will be all 'done'. =.= What if I study harder and harder and harder? I know I'm lazy but never try never know.
For no2. Even though I had registered for it, I don't really agree with. Cause I will only start the college next year. Most of my friends said that is too late and wasted time. Hmmm 

The One? 

The most popular art college in local. Even though I have reach the requirements, the fees are pretty too nice. I will become 穷学生 when studying. For frank, the fees are too much la wei -.-

And so
Holy my god. 
What should I do now? 


HMMM ... ... ... =/

What are words

the way I wanna go

had blocked   

cause there has no key 

with a locked door

where the hell is the key

I gotta find it myself

but what if I can't 

will I be locked forever

or temporary

who knows?

No Way

Is getting almost 1 year just in the blink of an eye
I had told hardly to myself to not to cry anymore
but things ain't going through easily as I expected
there's no way that I can stop by myself to look at you at THERE
but things had happened as to force myself to face  
that you're really gone
Whenever I see her crying
whenever I see the photos
whenever I remind back
My heart broken
throat tighten
burst into tears
All, just out of control.

Kidsss ♥

Zili ♥ ( Chili chili xD )

the sleeping beauty ~

like chicken peck? how cuteee ♥

Louis ♥ ( 10kg HUGEE month baby )

his face is almost bigger than my sis xD

kid with spec is the cutest ever ♥

Carlos ♥ ( Iphone TOP lover kid )

so fierce for what? lol ♥

Criss ♥ ( big round eye girl )

Mika's niece ~

you're sooooo cute laa ♥

Well, there's another baby is coming on this earth

which is.....

still inside my placenta :D 

STAY TUNED . . . ♥